Imagine a man who lives in London; he is in his mid-30s, and he starts by telling you how much he likes you and doesn’t want to be alone. He wants to start a relationship with you. Of course, you are not naive. You know that many African men abroad like to give false hope to women back in their home country, either as a way of relieving boredom or to have someone to sleep with when they return home to Nigeria.
You give him your attention and a chance to woo you, to see if he’s serious. Love can come from anywhere, right? And then he drops the bombshell: he is in the process of getting a divorce. You backtrack. Wait. Is it one of those lies married men tell you when they just want to sleep with you? It isn’t. He actually shows you proof that he’s getting a divorce.
He tells you his wife cheated on him after he left Nigeria without telling her. Why didn’t he tell her? Well, her family promised to contribute money so he could leave Nigeria on the condition that she would join him later, but they eventually refused to give him the money. He mentions how they used to have intense sex, and it was that physical attraction that caused them to get married. Oh, and they have a son together; a son she is using against him. Because he is currently at odds with her, she has stopped him from talking to his son, a boy he loves so much. That’s a lot to process while a man is asking you out. 
Of course, I am skeptical, so I tell him, “Okay, when you return to Nigeria, we can discuss a relationship.” He wants to rent an Airbnb so we can have sex, but I say no. We should meet in public spaces.
Then I start seeing some of his tweets; he’s talking about how he watched “Behind the Scenes” as soon as it premiered and how armed policemen still escort Nigerians. I text him to ask if he’s in Nigeria. He lies at first, and then he admits it when I show him his tweets. He then says yes, he is. I call him and he refuses to pick up. His reply: “She won’t let me answer.”
“Who is she?” I asked.
It was his ex-wife.
Him, her, and his son have been playing one big happy family.
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