One would think that in the age of dating apps and professional matchmakers, connecting singles would be a straightforward service. Some cases, however, will cause you to rethink.
In Nigeria, for example, even the most well-intentioned efforts can be frustrated by tradition, desperation, and entitlement.
Recently, a matchmaker who linked a 42-year-old ‘never-married’ woman with a suitor watched as her family presented a ₦12 million bride price list to the suitor. Twelve million naira for someone the family admitted, to the lament of the matchmaker, has waited decades for this moment. 
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Of course, the internet erupted. “Bride price or ransom?” one commenter asked. Others were blunter: “She should be free with yam and ‘thank you, sir.’”
This drama is not just the result of one family’s actions. It reveals how marriage is viewed and managed in some Nigerian communities.
The Bride Price Paradox
Bride price has deep historical and cultural roots. It symbolizes respect, appreciation to the family for the bride’s upbringing, and a partnership between families. Nobody complains when it is in moderation, but when it begins to look like a poverty-escape scheme or a status flex, it becomes toxic—just like this ₦12 million drama.
“Hey, Foluke, you are 42 years old. I managed to get you a man. The man asked for the bride price, and your parents are writing almost 12 million plus on the bride price list. 42 years old, no children, never been married before,” the man said angrily, at the top of his voice in a car.
In a mix of English and Pidgin, he further added that Foluke has been trying to call the supposed fiancé, and he might have blocked her.
“Don’t disturb yourself by coming to my DM. Maybe you should go to another matchmaking platform, because I know the stress I went through… before I was able to connect you with that man.”
Demands can be steep for a young virgin from a “good” family. For a 42-year-old who’s never married? Logically, expectations should adjust. In this case, fertility concerns rise, and past choices or circumstances matter more. In fact, most men seeking marriage at that stage want partnership, not a financial burden. Yet, there’s this family whose daughter’s price tag competes with prime real estate while the clock ticks.
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As one reply put it, “Now you know why she’s been single.” Harsh? Maybe. But patterns matter. If every suitor faces this, then maybe the “village people,” as the matchmaker mentioned, aren’t the only ones at fault.
Unlike decades ago, more people delay marriage for careers, education, or to “find the right one”; hence, matchmaking platforms and matchmakers are booming in business. They promise compatibility over random swipes. But when families treat them like auction houses by demanding millions from a man who has already invested in the connection, it destroys trust.
The man in the video sounds frustrated. He’s trying to help people find love, only for greed to sabotage it. One commenter noted that the woman herself shares responsibility if she doesn’t push back against her relatives.
Marriage is now treated as a transaction, and Nigeria’s tough economy, for example, has made some families increasingly view daughters as retirement plans. This commodifies women and burdens men. That’s why some would rather marry abroad or stay single.
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