Nigerian singer, Temilade Openiyi, popularly known as Tems, has opened up about a toxic relationship where her partner was both obsessive and possessive.
According to a recent interview with Angie Martinez, the songwriter described how the experience contradicted her most fundamental beliefs about love.
Tems explained that toxic relationships are particularly exhausting because the toxic person is frequently unaware that they are the source of the problem. 
“I have experienced love where I thought it was love, but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love,” she said.
Love is not the same as obsession. It is not a matter of possession. I cannot be the owner of another human being. When you love each other, you become one person.
“We don’t own each other; we are each other. I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic.
“They say they love you, but they don’t know that they don’t even love you. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own.”
The singer also discussed a deeply personal chapter of her journey and her transformative relationship with God.
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Tems admitted her rise to international fame didn’t always fill her with confidence. She admitted that at times, self-doubt threatened to overshadow her talent.
Teams described her journey as a great, unpredictable adventure, marked by both success and the sting of rejection.
She explained that rejection ultimately prepared her for the bright lights of global recognition.
“I feel like I had been rejected so much that when I found people who finally accepted me, because I was so used to rejecting myself, I could not accept their acceptance. She said
“But that is why I always encourage people to become aware, get curious about this fear that you have.”
Tems stated that the most profound shift occurred when she stopped attempting to bear the weight alone.
According to her, in times of confusion and pressure, such as after winning a Grammy, she relied entirely on her faith.
“Especially in those moments, I could not have thought about it. It was bigger than me, and I think that is actually what led me to God. Because I realised I cannot do it myself, and that was my only solution,” she said.
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