Nigerian men have shared painful accounts of relationships they say ended after they sponsored their wives’ education or relocation abroad.
The stories emerged after a viral X post falsely suggested that comedian and actor Okey Bakassi had separated from his wife over a similar situation. The account, @Yabgmi_, claimed Bakassi sponsored his wife’s nursing education in the United States while he continued earning in naira. It further alleged that she requested a divorce after completing her studies.
However, the post used a video of Bakassi discussing politics, not his marriage. The actor subsequently debunked the divorce rumours. Although the allegation about Bakassi was misleading, the post sparked conversations about financial sacrifice, long-distance marriages and relationships affected by relocation. 
Several men responded by sharing personal experiences and explaining why they had become wary of sponsoring their wives abroad.
Man Says Wife Returned Bride Price After Relocating Abroad
One X user, @94b1f61ca85040, shared what he described as his experience after his marriage ended. He claimed that his wife returned the bride price he had paid in 2006. According to him, this happened shortly after he relocated his wife and children abroad.
“Mine just returned the bride price I paid on her in 2006, this past Tuesday,” he wrote.
He said his wife decided they had grown apart after the relocation. The experience, he suggested, was particularly painful because he had hoped moving abroad would give his family a better life.
“You hear African women doing this, but you always think it can’t happen in your own union. Okay o. I move,” he added.
His account reflected the disappointment he said he felt after investing in his family’s relocation, only for his marriage to end. However, his account represents his perspective on the separation. The post did not include his wife’s response.
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‘Distance Can Expose Whether the Love Was Real’
Another user, @Leemxy48, reacted to the viral story by highlighting the emotional cost of supporting a partner from a distance.
“15 years of earning in naira and sending money abroad, only for her to call and say the marriage is dead. This one go pain,” the user wrote.
The commenter argued that prolonged separation and limited physical contact could put pressure on a relationship.
“Distance plus no physical presence go always expose whether the love was real or just arrangement,” the user added.
The comment resonated with the broader discussion about partners who remain in Nigeria while their spouses study or settle abroad. For couples living apart for years, maintaining intimacy and communication can become difficult. Financial support may also create additional pressure when one partner shoulders most of the expenses.
Nevertheless, the reactions did not establish that relocation necessarily leads to separation. Instead, they revealed the fears and frustrations some people associate with long-distance relationships.
Men Question Whether They Should Sponsor Their Wives Abroad
Meanwhile, another X user, @wiszley86, said he would hesitate to sponsor a wife abroad while remaining in Nigeria.
“You lost her the day you send her abroad while you are in Nigeria, that I can never do,” the user wrote.
He also suggested that anyone considering such an arrangement should prepare for the possibility of separation. The commenter questioned why a partner living abroad should depend entirely on money sent from Nigeria to cover expenses.
“Secondly my expenses will reduce, you can’t be abroad and I will be the one sending money from Nigeria paying everything,” he added.
His remarks reflected concerns about financial dependence, trust and the unequal burden some partners believe they carry.
The discussion has since highlighted the difficult choices couples face when one person relocates for education or better opportunities. While some men see sponsorship as an investment in their families’ future, others fear their sacrifices may not guarantee the stability of their marriages.
Ultimately, the accounts show how painful relationship breakdowns can shape people’s attitudes towards relocation and financial support. However, the claims remain individual experiences and should not be taken as evidence that women who move abroad are more likely to abandon their marriages.
Story written by Oluwatoyin Ololade, edited by Sola Sanusi
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