It is true that there is no romance without finance, especially in the metropolitan city of Lagos, Nigeria? How do people navigate dating in relation to their financial situation? The process of dating usually involves leaving your house (transportation), getting ready (outfit and accessories), and then spending money on food, refreshments, or tickets.
We spoke to 23 young people living in Lagos, aged 20–35, asking them how their finances affects their decision to go on a date. These were the most interesting responses:
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Tobi: Male, 20–25, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“I won’t go on a date if the cost of the preparation and the date itself really couldn’t be justified.”
Ife: Female, 20–25, earning less than ₦100k
“I’ve never been on a date.”
Chidi: Male, 20–25, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“Even when I have money, I sometimes cancel a date and reprioritise and put that cash somewhere profitable or send it to someone who truly needs it.”
Emeka: Male, 20–25, currently unemployed
“I’ll cancel a date if I couldn’t fully fund it like transporting myself to buying basic stuff.”
Zainab: Female, 20–25, currently unemployed
“I wouldn’t go on a date if I didn’t have money on me.”
Segun: Male, 26–30, earning above ₦500k
” I’ve had to cancel a date. So this chick wanted me to get her things she’d wear to see me. The rest is history.”
Kunle: Male, 26–30, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“Yes, I’ve cancelled a date a couple of times. It was mostly to avoid embarrassment. What I could afford wasn’t up to the standard I wanted, so it didn’t make any sense to try.”
Amaka: Female, 26–30, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“Yesss, I cancelled a date because I wanted to be able to afford at least half the bill for the date so I don’t feel like a liability.”
Bisola: Single female, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“I always like to have money with me even if I’m not the one sponsoring the date. We call it ‘vex money.’ If I don’t have the money I won’t go.”
Femi: Male, 30 years old, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“The lady wanted us to go to a five-star restaurant, but I was busy saving up for something important, so I called it off.”
Nneka: Female, 26–30, earning above ₦500k
“I have a lot of ego and pride; I would not go on a date without having my own money. I’d feel like a leech.”
Victor: Male, 26–30, earning above ₦500k
“I had to call it off a date because I could not afford it. She did not like that at all.”
David: Male, 20–25, earning ₦200k–₦400k
“I didn’t go on a date once because I just thought it wasn’t nice to be hanging on my friends’ money just to go out.”
From their answers, we gathered that:
- Dating is not really a priority for many, it is seen as a luxury. Many of them will choose saving money over going on a date.
- Many of the people we spoke to between 20–25 were unemployed.
- Money also affects women in dating; even if they are not paying for the date, they would still like to have some money with them.
- Some men struggle to keep up with women’s expectations, such as paying for their dress or eating at high-end restaurants.
- Men bear the most financial burden and are most likely to call off a date because of money.
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*None of their real names were used in this story.
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