Some words are better left unsaid in public, even when your partner is not offended by them.
Public figures frequently reveal intimate details about their relationships in order to inspire, educate, or entertain. However, not every truth requires a public forum. Even well-intended comments can have unintended consequences, particularly when they address a partner’s appearance or insecurities.
During an interview, Egemba Chininso, popularly known as Aproko Doctor, was asked whether he married his spec. He responded that he believes the idea of a “spec” is overrated. According to him, when he and his wife, Chiamaka Nwakalor, popularly known as Chef Amaka, went on their first date, she did not look like the type of woman he had imagined for himself. 
Chef Amaka then added that she was a tomboy at the time, to which he replied, “She still is.”
Aproko Doctor went on to explain that he had wanted someone who was already made and that Amaka did not fit the spec he had created in his head. However, he said her character changed everything.
Aproko Doctor spoke about her kindness, honesty, compassion, and the way she treated people. He described her as an open book, someone whose intentions are clear and someone who would not hurt a fly. He also said she brought him peace and genuinely wanted to add value to his life. At that point, he said, his idea of a spec no longer mattered.
When asked whether his spec had changed since getting married, he replied that Amaka was evolving into the spec he wanted. He also jokingly mentioned that one of his preferences was that his wife’s backside should be bigger than his.
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While many people may see nothing wrong with his comments, I believe some statements should remain private.
Over the years, Chef Amaka has faced relentless online criticism. People have mocked her appearance, called her names, and even claimed she beats her husband. Others have described her as the “man of the house” because she is taller than him and, at one point, developed a broader upper body due to PCOS. Chef Amaka herself has spoken about how people often say she looks older whenever she stands beside her husband.
Considering the amount of scrutiny and bullying she has endured, Aproko Doctor could have expressed his point differently. His comments highlighted the qualities that made him fall in love with her, and those qualities are admirable. However, publicly stating that she was not his spec opened the door for further conversations about her appearance, conversations she has already had to endure for years.
From what he said, it is clear that he married her because of who she is: her values, character, kindness, and the peace she brought into his life. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, many successful relationships are built on qualities that go far beyond physical preferences.
Still, some truths do not always need a public audience. Even when a partner takes no offense, certain comments can carry unintended consequences, especially when they concern someone who has repeatedly faced public criticism about their appearance.
That is why I believe this is one of those things that would have been better left unsaid.
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